Milking some almonds

Yesterday was a special special day. It marks the first day we milked almonds and made amaaaaazing almond milk. Now we understand all the fuss about it. We tried once a store bought what we remember to be an almond drink and it just tasted like wood. Like someone chopped wood and put it in the carton with some sweetener. Not a great experience.

And now a little karaoke for you, in the style of Gloria Gaynor, please:

At first we were afraid,

We were petrified, kept thinking how can we milk almonds without nipples on both sides.

But then we spend so many nights thinking about milking them, we,

We had to try

and now we hold our cup so high!

Good times, the 80’s.

Turns out this almond milk is not as bad as the one that we had from the store, it’s actually extremely satisfying. And we see a little obsession/hobby coming over – MILKING EVERYTHING!

Obviously nipples are not needed for milking.

Thank you for the wrong information, Focker!

Because of you we've been drinking cow milk like we're still on a bottle. Which we were we think until we were like what…16 years old? Just kidding, until yesterday.

But true story – until the age of 4 we were living in the smallest village on the face of the Earth with our grandmother. The only thing we were eating and drinking at that time was milk (we guess goat milk, since we didn’t have cows there).

Our grandmother used to put our milk in a huge beer bottle, which was emptied by someone else before that, and we assume it was washed afterwards (we didn’t have running water at that time in our village).

On top of the “clean” beer bottle there was a half-cut-off pacifier and we would drink from that bottle all day long.

For us milk was the only food existing on the planet and it was our main nutrient source at that time. We didn’t know you could eat other things, forget about drinking the milk of nuts.

Now, just a few years later (about 24) we're milking almonds like there’s no tomorrow, we almost don’t eat dairy and we live in a city with more than 11 inhabitants.

Life is a surprise.

We're thinking of milking everything else now – oats, hazelnuts, cashews…our mind is in overdrive. We need new milking-objects!!!

So many things to milk, so little time to milk them and so sole stomach! Why?? Why do we have only one stomach?

Now that we have all that milk, we can’t help but wonder what we should do with it? Usually we like to use plain water for everything – smoothies, desserts, breakfast…

We're not gonna change our beliefs because the Universe blessed us with the talented hands of a milking Goddess.

But maybe we'll try it in like a sauce in some savory dish? We love creamy dishes, that’s why we gained so much weight after all.

By the way we're a little allergic to almonds. Well our face doesn’t swell up 3 sizes, when we eat raw almonds, but we do get some itching inside our mouth and inside our ears. And then we try to scratch inside our ears and then our mouth. Tasty! We bet it looks attractive when we do that – we think it’s that special something about us.

But when we want to actually attract someone and eat nuts without scratching our ears and mouth we soak our nuts or bake them. This way all the allergic symptoms are gone. And now we can even be attractive while drinking milk of almonds – no itching, no trouble.

Soaking is also a good way to reduce the phytic acid content in nuts, grains and legumes. Phytic acid is quite the party pooper – it binds important nutrients like calcium, zinc and iron and those cannot be absorbed – which in the end might lead to deficiencies. So soak please!

And now that we've been milking nonstop for 2 days we have a lot of almond pulp. What’s going to happen with it? Maybe a dessert?